#blah blah

[tunnaa-unnaa]

You're trying to look at it from a problem solving perspective, but really I think you're missing the depth of why people complain.

One is seeking social connection, in which case they want you to confirm that you too wish this one particular thing was different. If it turns out you both agree on this, the conversation can evolve into a deeper discussion of that subject or move onto other things you might have in common in disliking. I saw someone in the replies make this same point.

Another common reason to complain is validation. People often know it's frowned upon to be a hater, so they complain in order to get you to validate their distaste of whatever they're complaining about. They want you to give them permission to be unhappy about it and to feel a bit pissed.

Also, for a lot of people points of complaint are not as simple as something you can choose not to be bothered by since it cannot be changed. To some it's like chronic pain, something that gnaws on your mood and they just feel the need to let it out there.

I just kinda feel the issue is not within the complainer or the complaint itself, but your reaction to it. Why do you feel such rush to move onto something else to talk about? Why is it that you feel the need to "solve" the complaint, or to push the complainer to accept something that is bothering them? Why does complaining have this effect on you specifically? Most people don't have a huge issue dealing with pointless complaining, even if they find it exhausting. Like, clearly so many people doing it means it has a social purpose and isn't as pointless as you might think.

Okay I know I keep posting about the same subject over and over again, but in my defense I'm trying to do my best to unlearn it so it's not like I just repeat the same actions expecting a different result. But I just am not used to my boyfriend's family's way of habitual complaining. Like the way I grew up, you have problems you can fix, so you shut up and fix them, and you have problems you can't fix, so you shut up and accept that that's just how life is sometimes.

Complaining is a way of asking someone to help you troubleshoot what you can do to fix a problem, or help remind you that there's nothing you can do, and therefore it's neither your fault nor responsibility, and therefore you can just accept that it is like that. You're doing someone a favour by pointing out that the things they'd have to do to make the problem stop existing are so over the top absurd that there is no shame in simply stoically accepting that there is nothing you can do, and be done with it.

The concept of complaining about something that you are 100% aware is not fixable, not within your power to fix, and which has always existed and will always continue to exist - such as human stupidity - is absurd to me. Beyond my comprehension. It's like trying to dry your wet socks by rinsing the wetness out of them, when you know that this isn't how drying clothes works.

I try to remind myself that sometimes people just complain about things nobody can do anything about for no other reason than to complain about them. And while I really don't know what you're supposed to say when people do that, apparently I should not tell my boyfriend's mother that unfortunately stupid people - especially teenage idiots - have always existed and have always done stupid shit, and unfortunately they will continue to exist for as long as it's illegal to shoot them.

[mcaelius]

whimsical trousers acquired yayy

[hyperbali]

Well this feels a little foreboding

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

In giggling at this he was there for TWO DAYS?? ONLY TWO? Not even a full week and he was already running away im weak

[sideswipesjetpack]

just gonna… drop these… here

Whispering prowl should.. need glasses.. or a visor because.. because.. HEADCANONS

[toughbunnyforever]

trying out human things. its boring

[omenfailure]

Care for a smoke, my liege?

[jiauro]

im tired

[vonn13]

There's something poetic about will solace who mourns the death of all his siblings finding love in nico Di Angelo, a demigod whose father reigns over the underworld.

[supposed-to-be-studying]

A tiny Holy Mary shrine at Poznańska street in Warsaw.

[tunnaa-unnaa]

mild TotK spoilers

(source)

[mcaelius]

[hyperbali]

Lmao okay wait wait hold on

You seriously mean to tell me

That Bellara was already a huge fan of Neve's detective work, as well as already liking to cook her favourite food before knowing a single personal thing about her

Neve takes a trip to Docktown just to get every single newspaper she can find so Bellara can finish her serials

Bellara desperately wants to join the Shadow Dragons

It's Neve who shows up to Cyrian's funeral - not Emmrich the funeral expert who would probably jump at the chance to see a Dalish death ritual, but Neve

And you mean to tell me that they're NOT one of the pairings???

LMAO

""SISTERS""

""""REALLY, REALLY GOOD FRIENDS""""

R I G H T

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

Man I’ve been thinking about this screenshot for a while he just looks so unprocessing. He’s just staring at a literaal piece of his friend.

And then later at the funeral he had a similarly completely blank expression. Boy who was not ready to grieve again.

[sugaredviolettesblogg]

seeing a man w pretty eyes is so fucked up bc now i wanna see you crying and writhing in pain